What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
