According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
