Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
