wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you inspire me to be a worse person
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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