So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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