I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
What a fucking waste of an outfit
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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