i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize