my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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