I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
