Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
