had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
