We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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