too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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