how can u be prego again
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
now i know why i became what i already was.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
