What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
