Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
