ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Randomize
