Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
