A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
