rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
