Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize