she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
