Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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