Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
