Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize