You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
