But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
