I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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