He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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