sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
