So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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