we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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