oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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