she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
