he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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