I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
