i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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