You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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