U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
