they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
