i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
