I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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