So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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