I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
