I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
