Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize