let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
