D3 body, D1 cock
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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