i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
