I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Randomize
