i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
