i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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