I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
