I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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