I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
