I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize