TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize