But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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