You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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