Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
