You don't have asthma, your pregnant
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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