...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
