if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
