I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
