I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
