dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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