Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize