Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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