fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Randomize
