First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
