I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
