Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
