Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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