turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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