How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
