Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
