I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize