Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
