I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
