It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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