I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The adults are the big ones right?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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